Why Don't I Write?

Oh joy; I have an unexpected day off work.  I'm caught up with most chores and all my regular writing deadlines and I even have supper started for later.  Now I'm finally free to work on my novel.

So, why am I writing a blog post (apart from the fact that it's a commitment I've undertaken and should be considered a deadline also because you, my readers, can't be blamed for giving up on me if I don't post in a timely fashion)?  And just before I began this post, why did I check my email, read the on-line news (again), and play three games of Solitaire?

 I do know that I have the tendency to procrastinate, but it's usually related to things I don't care to do.  I'm supposedly keen to work on the novel and get the first draft finished so I can get started on revision and even look at ways to publish.  And I know that if I can just get myself started I will get involved and enjoy every minute of my process.  So why do I do absolutely everything else I can think of to avoid starting?  I have some theories:

1. I'm unsure that the novel is any good and that makes it harder to plant my bottom in this chair and stay here until I'm engaged in it.  That's about my lack of confidence.

2. I'm afraid that no one will want to read it ... oh, that's about lack of confidence, too.

3. It's not in the "modern" style, and I wonder if I'll find a market for it.  After all, the aim of writing is to communicate with readers, so I do want it to be read.  And, considering how much effort has to go into this project, I'd like to make a little money at it, too.  But who's going to want to buy it?  Oh... lack of confidence again!

4. The novel is already beginning to feel like my "baby" and I'm anxious about sharing it with the rest of the world because they might abuse it and ... okay, I think I'm heading for lack of confidence again.

I could go on but I can already see that it all comes down to the same thing.  So, maybe I'm writing ( and procrastinating) for the wrong reasons.  Maybe I should make an effort to set all those future possibilities aside and write merely because I want to, because I like writing, because I have something to say, and because I want to see what happens next to my characters.

 Maybe I just talked myself into it.  Okay, I have to go write now!