Coming Together

Last weekend my family and I conquered a major hurdle, something we were all a little anxious about, I suspect.  We had our first family reunion without Dad.

I  found the day quite difficult in some ways and inspiring in others.  It was difficult because Dad's absence was so blatant; it could not be ignored.  It was inspiring and affirming because Dad's enduring presence in this family revealed itself in many ways.

I have nephews who look a lot like Dad, so I saw him in them.  Some took the time to talk to me of Dad, what he meant in their lives, and what they had learned from him.  We sighted eagles soaring over my brother's cottage where we had gathered and we all spoke of Dad's love for nature and extensive knowledge of birds.  Someone made a grammar mistake and Mom and I glanced at each other with a little smile as we imagined Dad gently correcting and explaining the rule that had been broken.

One nephew told me that he thought of Dad whenever he had to make a choice and was tempted to choose the less noble option.  "Then I think of Opa and what he would think if I chose this course ... and I make the better choice."  That reminds me of the poem we included at the end of Dad's eulogy:

When through one man

a little more love and goodness,

a little more light and truth

come into the world,

then that man's life has meaning.

(Alfred Delp)

 

The truth is that this man's life continues in his family, a family whose values, knowledge, and closeness grew out of who he was and what he taught us, just by being himself, quietly and modestly, as was his way.